The Cliff House in Malibu was always a special treat. I had made the reservations in January. Tasha was in Russia with her mother. She would fly off for these cool vacations with her mom. She still does. Caribbean, Cruises, Alaska. Crap. She filled up 2 passports before I even met her. I think that it her moms way of bonding and staying in control and escaping from the reality that is her life. (that is for another blog) We had dated for a year and a half and the subject of marriage would rise often. I was ready. She wanted out of her house. I knew that she wanted out but I wanted to make sure that I loved her and that she loved me. I would pray that God would show me not just one sign but many. And he did!
Hello Joe? It is me Rodney. Can we meet for lunch while the girls are in Russia? Where would you like to go? Pizza Hut? OK.....How about someplace nice? OK..... Pizza Hut it is. We met at the one on Devonshire in North Hills.
Me: Joe, I love your daughter and I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I want your blessing.
Joe: (said in a a subtle back east accent) Youz guyz dont have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out.......He scratches his head..... But then again her mom and I didn't have anything either.
Me: Is that a yes? If you do not answer me I am going to assume that I have your blessing. He didn't say no.
When Tasha and her mom came back from Russia, They were surprised to find Joe at the airport gate to pick them up. He never picks them up. In LA you take the Flyaway bus to Van Nuys. You call when you leave the airport and wait to be picked up.
Tasha: Is everything OK dad?
Joe: Your dingy boyfriend asked for your hand in marriage.
I do not know the rest of the conversation after that. All I remember hearing was my future father in law let the cat out of the bag. They show up at their house and the garage is open. Mind you these are anal people. They do not trust anyone. He must have been so excited to tell Tasha the news that he forgot to close the garage when he left to pick them up.
I had already purchased the ring and was waiting for the right time. Valentines was coming and the reservations were already made at the Cliff House. She said Yes!!!
15 years later I was served divorce papers.
She told me that she was unhappy. She said that she did not like the way I look and she did not even like the way I smell. She said that she must have loved me. We have 3 kids. I just cannot remember ever loving you.
At that time I was too numb to feel the hurt. I believe that God allowed me to guard myself from the pain.
Was it love? Was she just listening to outside influences? Why was this happening to me? I am the good guy. I am the honest one. I do not cheat. I do my best to provide and love my wife.
Then I realize that you can not force anyone to love you. Love is a choice. It does not just happen. You choose to love but first you have to love yourself. The only way to love yourself is to let God in. Your heart is good and has always been good. You just have to learn how to listen to it. Did I marry the wrong girl? No. I had a marriage. We had a great one. It was better than being in love. I think that it would have been nice to have all the romance and the passion that was not in my marriage but that is not what marriage is. Marriage is a commitment. I made a vow to love honor and cherish till death. I will stay committed to that. Do not get me wrong. I have moved on. She is the mother of my children and I will still love, honor and cherish. Just not in the same way as in the past.
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