I have three children. The oldest 2 are boys and the youngest of course is our “Tomboy Princess”. Now that everyone is out of Diapers and have been for at least 6 years, the issue of the bathroom protocol has become an issue. When my kids are not with
me, I enjoy walking around the house with no inhibitions. There is no one to point, laugh and stare. (That is for another blog) When the kids are home, I notice that things in my bathroom have changed. Toilet paper seams t
o disappear at an exponential rate and the toilet seat seems to have chronic wetness. The first issue that I would like to address is the toilet paper. My daughter does not just grab a few sheets. She grabs a piece with her thumb and fore finger and begins to rotate her wrist to pull the paper from the dispenser until she makes boxing gloves that are the size of her head. A couple of wipes and a roll later and she is done. This routine is also done when it comes to cleaning a toilet seat. Mind you this is ok if we are at a restaurant or hotel, but when it is my toilet paper that I am having to buy, then it is not that cool. It would be a little different if I still had my Costco membership. Besides. Isn’t that what people get a Costco membership for anyway “Excuse me. I have 5 dollars. Can I have someone sell me that pallet of toilet paper” Then it hits me. I was having an epiphany. The TOILET SEAT NEEDS T
O STAY UP!!! Think about it. If the seat is up all the time, you never have to worry about sitting in someone else’s urine. When you have to sit. Put down the seat! All we would have to do is train woman to pull down the seat. That way there is never an argument about leaving the seat up. I do have to admit. There is still nothing funnier than to hear the sound of a girl falling into a toilet. They get so spun out when it happens too. Ladies. Have you ever thought of looking before you sit? It is not the guys fault. Culturally you have been told that the seat should always be down and I am here to say that it is to be up! This is the way it should be. Toilet seat up and put it down if you have to push one out. BTW. Do you know how hard it is to find an image of a seat that has the lid up? I know that I am going to get flack for this post. Especially from Cleveland. ;-)
o disappear at an exponential rate and the toilet seat seems to have chronic wetness. The first issue that I would like to address is the toilet paper. My daughter does not just grab a few sheets. She grabs a piece with her thumb and fore finger and begins to rotate her wrist to pull the paper from the dispenser until she makes boxing gloves that are the size of her head. A couple of wipes and a roll later and she is done. This routine is also done when it comes to cleaning a toilet seat. Mind you this is ok if we are at a restaurant or hotel, but when it is my toilet paper that I am having to buy, then it is not that cool. It would be a little different if I still had my Costco membership. Besides. Isn’t that what people get a Costco membership for anyway “Excuse me. I have 5 dollars. Can I have someone sell me that pallet of toilet paper” Then it hits me. I was having an epiphany. The TOILET SEAT NEEDS T
O STAY UP!!! Think about it. If the seat is up all the time, you never have to worry about sitting in someone else’s urine. When you have to sit. Put down the seat! All we would have to do is train woman to pull down the seat. That way there is never an argument about leaving the seat up. I do have to admit. There is still nothing funnier than to hear the sound of a girl falling into a toilet. They get so spun out when it happens too. Ladies. Have you ever thought of looking before you sit? It is not the guys fault. Culturally you have been told that the seat should always be down and I am here to say that it is to be up! This is the way it should be. Toilet seat up and put it down if you have to push one out. BTW. Do you know how hard it is to find an image of a seat that has the lid up? I know that I am going to get flack for this post. Especially from Cleveland. ;-)
3 comments:
Especially from Cleveland aye?
I have only fallen in once personally & it was only because it was in the middle of the night, I was half awake & have never had to share a bathroom with a gross boy before getting married.
I can, however relate to using a lot of paper, it kills Lair.
I can tell what you learned in school...by the way, EARLY 40's???????
Okay, so I realize this blog is like 2 years old and because of this I am going to give you some grace. Perhaps in the last 2 years you have matured and concluded that respectable people leave the seat DOWN. And when a woman falls into a toilet, the scream sounds something like this, "Steve, I am going to kill you!" In my experience, that's what it sounds like anyway.
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